A Restful Vacation
To my fellow-passengers on the “Caronia”
A Dedication composed by Mollie R. Golomb Epstein
We were tired and harried and empty of zest,
And a CARONIA cruise seemed best for a rest.
So we shopped and we packed — and shopped without stop
And boarded the ship just ready to drop.
They let us down easy, Florida was warm,
And it's fun to sit and watch dolphins perform.
In Trinidad, off we went next to Pitch Lake
A puddle of pitch — just Nature's mistake.
At Rio, of course, the real work began;
It's tough to sightsee and shop in one span.
And buying rare jewels is really a chore :
Topazes, amethysts, aquamarines by the score.
We NEEDED the seven-day rest on the ocean
To sprawl in a deck chair, devoid of all motion.
But that dratted Cruise Staff was out for our blood
And drowned us in energy as in a flood.
With shuffleboard contests, with bridge and canasta
And lectures and dance classes, the pace became fasta.
With deck-hikes and with tennis, with concerts and pool —
It couldn't be tougher at military school!
With Balls and with Sings till you're ready to bust,
And twice-daily movies, which, of course, are a must!
Then the safaris and animal hunt,
And where the beasts should come, they cussedly wunt.
Whether in Cape Town or Victoria Falls
Or watching the dancers at Zulu kraals,
One thing is certain : though you may feel leery,
You just grin and bear it; there's no rest for the weary.
Tamatave was more restful — we couldn't be rash —
For all the cab drivers spoke only Malagash.
At Port Victoria we might have rested a bit,
But we got the bounce treatment and couldn't even sit.
And we staggered under loads, too heavy to bear,
Of tortoise shell, baskets, and coco de mer.
But India, INDIA — there was only repose
If you stayed in your cabin for a six-day-long doze;
But if you ventured abroad by train or by plane,
Goodbye sweet repose and freedom from strain.
Between goats, dogs, and rickshaws, and, of course, sacred cows,
And dirt, heat, and saris, bicycles, and sows,
And then at each meal the ordeal by FIRE,
You NEEDED the ghats — you KNEW you'd expire.
Then that hot trip, up the mountains to Kandy;
Maybe an elephant would think it just dandy.
Singapore was okay, but the memory stings
Of Raffles and Boogie and too many slings.
Now Bangkok was restful, with breakfast at five,
And a four-hour tender ride to help you revive;
Then temples and palaces and more of their ilk,
While you sweated and swore, as you bought some more silk.
And Hong Kong — What's Hong Kong? — more shops on each street
Where you shop till you drop, for you're dead on your feet!
In Japan you go Eastern — you bow till you're double,
But straightening back — ah, there is the trouble.
After temples and shrines, you hunt for rare treasure
And get a small earthquake thrown in for good measure.
Of course, in Hawaii the LADIES could rest —
If their men's roving eyes stayed glued to the nest.
A visit to DIZZYLAND may be quite a treat,
But there's no denying it's hard on the feet.
Acapulco and Panama still lie ahead.
We hope that we get there, though feeling half dead.
New York and London will prove far less taxing:
When we get home, we'll START our relaxing!
So hail to the CARONIA !
She may be the best
For a wonderful cruise,
But NOT for a rest!
[Produced for the 1965 Great World Cruise]